Tuesday, 3 February 2009

By Way of Explanation....

....and in response to all your very kind comments and e-mails wondering whether I have actually shuffled off this mortal coil, I've not. (Obviously).



But I thought you might like to know what happened, so I'll be as quick as I can:



1. Watch in disbelief, in the middle of December, as all the words and icons on your computer screen sort of slide off into the corner...



2. Ring a friend of a friend, who diagnoses the problem as a 'bloodhound virus', which after much technical terminology appears to mean that the computer is as dead as a dodo.



3. Frantically attempt to justify splashing out on a new computer two weeks before Christmas.....



4. Fail miserably.



5. Try not to think about the fact that none of the Football Fanatic's university work, the Singer'sGCSE coursework or the thousands of retro pictures that you have spent years collecting are backed up.......

6. Suddenly remember that somewhere, towards the back of the hall cupboard, is a dusty laptop...

7. Search the house from top to bottom for the CD which will connect the dusty laptop to the internet.

8. Fail miserably.

9. Wait TWENTY THREE days for a replacement CD from the internet service provider.

10. Finally receive CD, insert into CD drive and wait...

11. Realise that said CD is never going to connect you to the internet if you sit here messing with it for the next hundred years.

12. Do ten rounds with TalkTalk engineer in Bombay......and.........at last.........re-connect to the outside world........


I feel I should point out here that our connection is not as good as it used to be (I know how it feels) and is prone to going off without so much as a by your leave. So, if I go AWOL again in the near future, you'll know where I am.


I absolutely had to post today, because we have a birthday in the house.


The Football Fanatic is twenty today.


Well, chronologically she is twenty. In reality, she informs me, she is 'twenteen', a word which the Urban Dictionary defines as:


1. the new age for a person who doesn't want to lose being a teenager once they hit the age of twenty!


2. The age between nineteen and twenty-one. Twenteen is used when the birthday boy/ birthday girl is not excited about no longer being a teenager and feel like if they mask the age behind a false definition, the pain of getting old will lessen.


And on that basis, I reckon I'm about for-teen and three quarters.


Give or take a few weeks.

29 comments:

Maggie May said...

Am I pleased to hear from you!
I hadn't thought it was a computer fault. Thought about illnesses and all sorts of things like that.
Thought you just wouldn't disappear without explanation.

Congratulations to the twenteen year old!
Glad you are all OK.

Yes, you are right. nothing changes over my way! Ha.

Rachel Pattisson said...

Welcome back :o) It's good to know that you're ok. Computers are so great when they're working properly and sooooo bad when they're not!

Rose said...

So glad you're okay. Sorry about the computer. Hope it keeps working!

Daryl said...

So good to see you back and if you go back to my blog and click the link for Mamarazzi it will take you to her blog and there she has written out step by step how to join the Swap .. I so hope you join in and we get to be swap partners! you must send me your email .. xoxo

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Ah, I was pondering your absence only the other day. Glad you made it back, hope the birthday girl had a good time.

qualcosa di bello said...

i am sooooooooooooooooooo glad you're back! isn't it just the coolest thing to have a daughter in her **twenties** OMG!

Mean Mom said...

I could hardly believe it, when I saw that there was a post from you, today. Welcome back! I thought that you, or someone in your family, must have been ill.

Oh, no. Not computer problems and a TalkTalk engineer in Bombay.

Happy Birthday to the Football Fanatic!

E said...

Welcome back. I have missed hearing your stories.....

gigi said...

So glad you didn't die it was just computer. Welcome back and happy birthday to oldest daughter :)

Expat mum said...

Glad you didn't shuffle off, but methinks you need a back-up system of some sort!

Amrita said...

So glad to see you on screen. Sorry about your puter trouble.

Hope the dust settles soon away from the computer that is.

I like that twenteen thing.

Renae said...

(Clearing throat.)

Haaappy Biiiirthdaaay tooo Yoou,
Haaaappy Biiiirthday tooo Yooou,
Haaappy Biirthday, dear
Foooootbaaaalll Faanaaatiiic,
Haaappy Biiirthdaay tooo Yoou!

(No applause, please.)

Tell the dear twenteen year old I hope her day is great! Welcome back!

ciara said...

happy birthday, ff!



it's my mini-me's birthday today as well. she turned 12, probably wishes she was a twenteen hehe :)

Rebekah said...

Missed you! Sorry about your computer woes. I think I remember turning twenty, but I had just recently married, so I was thrilled to get older! :)

Alison Boon said...

Hurrah for dustlyold laptops adn techy men.
Boo for nasty viruses
Liking the age thing.

Kitty said...

So good to see you back! Have you got a formal note? No? Well please make sure you have one next time, or there will be detention.

Happy Birthday to your FF - top of the table for her birthday is a pretty good present. How nice of Sir Alex to arrange that for her.

x

Jennysmith said...

Sorry you've had problems and frustrations but it is so lovely to see your name back on here. Missed you. Pop over for a fag sometime.

Happy Birthday to your football Fanatic xxxx

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

Welcome back! Computer problems are the worst.

Happy Birthday to the Football Fanatic!

RiverPoet said...

Happy birthday, FF! And I like "twenteen!"

Glad to see you're back around here, even if it's at turtle speed.... :-)

Peace D

Working mum said...

Good to have you back! I felt for you with the computer disaster - my life would not function without tesco.com!

Ttony said...

I love the womanly way in which you have now defined failure to acknowledge the superior argument of an interlocutor as "my computer's broken down again".

I'm not supposed to type anything but I suppose you can have a "Welcome Back!".

Akelamalu said...

Welcome back and happy birthday to the football fanatic. I hope your computer problems are solved soon. :)

ChrisB said...

Happy Birthday to FF.

I feel for you losing stuff on the computer-it happened to me and I still haven't learned as I'm not good at backing things up. Anyway glad to see you back.

Mac McLernon said...

Welcome back. I was beginning to wonder if the Father of that lot had read one too many posts and had hit you over the head with a shovel... and then buried your body in the back yard...

I have a seriously over-active imagination...

Kit said...

Jackie!!! Welcome back! Sure have missed you...was hoping for a Christmas miracle with FOTL as opposed to a bludgeoning, personally, but then one never knows...

And a belated Happy Birthday to the FF!

Jennifer said...

February is the month for bloggy birthdays, evidently! And my Jack is 7 next week, too. Well, happy birthday to The Fanatic.

We had our share of computer troubles this year, too - WOW, what a pain. Technology is a double-edged sword, that's what. Glad to see you're limping forward!

E said...

hey come back and tell us some stories already....

tootsie said...

Yay! You're alive!

CrazyCath said...

Well it is good to know you are ok although I wouldn't bet on the TalkTalk rep being in good health right now....

At least you have a good excuse!
Good to see you back Jackie.