Friday, 27 June 2008

Facebook Faceoff

Thought I'd better explain what the 'something nasty' was since you've all left such caring and encouraging comments.


My beautiful, clever, kind and basically good-all-round Football Fanatic has been accused, by what amounts to be a gang of jealous girls, of some of the most vile things that you can possibly imagine on Facebook, the internet social networking site.


I am only writing this post in case any of you have teenagers with a Facebook account. Whilst it can be a lot of fun if used properly, please make sure that nothing hurtful or damaging is being said about them on it.


Believe me, it can cause a lot of heartache.






Anyway, we're getting to grips with it and moving on.


As you can see from the picture, I have aged twenty years in the last week, but I hope to be back playing the glamourous housewife role tomorrow.

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31 comments:

Dusty Spider said...

teenagers can be very cruel. Hope everything is back to normal soon. Flick xx

Working mum said...

A cruel and nasty form of bullying. Also, teenagers naively think that only their friends are reading it. In fact teachers, universities and increasingly, employers, check out pupils'/candidates' Facebook accounts to find out what they are like.

To turn Facebook into a positive tool, I teach my form (sixth formers) to use it to advertise their achievements and their skills. They should have in their mind that they are advertising themselves to the world - forever!

ciara said...

some girls can be just downright nasty. it's a need to feel good about themselves since maybe things aren't so great for them. it seems like these girls will use any medium to hurt someone.

have you heard about the girls who beat up girls they don't like and video tape it to post on myspace? like that's something to be proud of? it makes no sense to me why the youngsters these days find it necessary to be rude, disrespectful, and mean.

i hope football fanatic is feeling better. i tell my oldest all the time that when people say things about her, it's because they're jealous. they need to feel good about themselves, so they have to put others down. it doesn't matter what anyone thinks of you, because you know the truth. that's all that matters.

Suburbia said...

Tall Girl and I had this conversation this very morning strangely! She is verging on the edge of begining her facebook/beebo senior school era. I will take note. Hope you can put things right.

Suburbia said...

ps have just read Working Mum's comment. Such brilliant info.

Maggie May said...

Jackie..... I am SO sorry. What a terrible thing to do to any one. I have heard about this type of thing before. Hope something can be done. Maybe get her teachers to read it & tackle the children in question. It is a form of bullying and abuse. Here's hoping ..........

Rose said...

That type of stuff is a huge problem here in the States. My youngest stepdaughter was hit with a "minor" incident of it this year and it's so painful to watch. Hope all is well soon.

belle said...

Oh poor Football Fanatic and poor you! We've had similar issues with Flixter and My Space. Really hope things are sorted soon. Take care x

Lehners in France said...

Jackie, I'm sorry your daughter is having a tough time, but thank God she has told you about it. Working mum's advice was excellent. I tried face book, I left because I was getting so many stupid funwall things and nudgey things I thought it was ridiculous. When I closed my accounts I was given a number of options to choose from. The one I felt most apt was that I didn't get any benefit from face book. The "cheeky" response was "you need more friends!" No I don't I have a life and aside from my life blogging is more fun than face book. Pud (x)

Akelamalu said...

How awful, girls can be evil sometimes. I hope your daughter can ignore and rise above their pettymindedness.

CrazyCath said...

This is the new technology to help with bullying I'm afraid. Along with mobile phones that video - and posting it on YouTube or similar.

It is so cruel. I hope you and FF get through ok. Although it won't help her now while she feels so hurt, she knows that she is bigger and better than that, and that those who really know and love her know the truth about her.

Kids are so cruel.

Journey of Truth said...

The world isn't what it used to be. Hang in there, love. All will be well and right itself.

Cheers,
JOT

Kit Brookside said...

That stinks for the FF! Tell her to hold her head high and walk right past those witches - sadly, this is a good lesson in who her real friends are, and are NOT. And my 14 y/o Princess is sitting right here reading this as an illustration of my reasoning in NOT letting her have a myspace or facebook account. She's had a rough school year, and I have no doubt her "friends" have been dishing about her plenty on their myspace pages. Girls are cruel and malicious enough in person, and so I say why subject yourself to it online?

Kit Brookside said...

Jackie - check your email if you haven't already!

:)
K[it]Esq

scrappysue said...

it's been the subject of talk shows - it's quite insidious. i hope it works out for your family. a good learning experience, if nothing else.

Grit said...

that's such a crap thing to happen to football fanatic; i'm sure she can walk away from it and know that it's not the be all and end all; her maturity will put the others to shame.

Chris said...

hi been reading your blog for ages tell the FF that all these things pass. She should be like her Mum strong and independent. What I find so strange is how early these things start I have known Y6 hassle about it. I find the whole thing an irritation but then I am not 19 (I wish) It is quite an ego trip when you first get tagged then its just a bind. Hope it all gets sorted

Amrita said...

I have heard many negative things about Favebook.

Casdok said...

Evil and cruel. But i hope Football Fanatic knows she is well loved here.

The Dotterel said...

Sounds all too familiar, I'm afraid. My wife teaches at an all-girls school and - without a lot of work on thier part - such things would bequite common. Makes me glad I'm at a boys school - they just sort things out with fists and then are friends again within an hour! (NOT that I'm condoning violence, btw!)

Kitty said...

The pain we feel for our kids is much worse than any pain we feel for ourselves, isn't it? I'm pleased to hear you're working through it, and hope that Football Fanatic believes that those nasty people will get what's coming to them. What goes around comes around.

Take care. x

Holy Chaos said...

My sons just now have created an account on facebook.

I will tell them what "Working Mum" said.

Don't you have to be "friends" to see each other's profiles?

how do universities and emplyers look at their facebook account?

A Mother's Place is in the Wrong said...

Poor you, and poor FF. But I'm sure you'll get through it in good shape. Your daughter is a lovely,talented person (just like her Mum) and we all send love. M xx

Esther said...

How terrible. How is your DD holding up?

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

Facebook scares me. Why do a few mean people have to ruin everything for the rest of us?

I hope your daughter is getting over it all.

Kit Brookside said...

HC - I think the way it works is that you create your account and have the option to make it private (i.e., invitation only to "friends") or public - anyone can view your profile and communicate with you (hence employers and universities researching potential employees/students).

Of course, most kids like the public option, and that is where the predators strike, posing as nearby "kids" of the same age. Even the tiny police force we have in my corner of rural NY has an officer whose job it is to monitor these chatrooms looking for registered sex offenders masquerading as local high school students. It is so, so scary.

Daryl said...

Facebook and MySpace are both sites where bullying is prevelant .. did you hear about the young girl who was bullied by THE MOTHER of one of her former friends on one of these sites and the poor child ended up hanging herself... the mother who caused this is now out on bail but is going to be prosecuted for her heinous deeds.

I used to post at a soap opera message board and the fan faction were so hostile it was insane .. and the posters were ADULTS!

Tell your fabulous daughter to ignore those who are clearly jealous!

:-Daryl

Jennifer said...

My husband is a criminal attorney, and he has dealt with many, many teens who are in trouble - or have been victimized - and much of it has a computer involved somewhere.
Your daughter is not the only one to have this happen to her, and thank goodness it's not been life threatening. Do you know that not too long ago a teenager here in the States killed herself because of some things that were said about her online? Turned out to be the MOTHER of one of her jealous friends. She was pretending to be a boy. It was horrible.

This is why my 13 year old is practically locked up on the computer - and we only have one computer, in the common living area of our house. My husband is a computer nazi, and you can guess why!
She doesn't completely understand why, and we have had tears over it from time to time, but I am not ready to tell her all the "why's" yet. There is true evil and "badness" in this world, and much of the time it is unspectacular, living next door or around the block, or sitting at the next desk. At this point, I'd rather she be a little frustrated than to know about that kind of stuff.

I'm a bit frustrated myself - I will never understand how some people can just be so MEAN and hateful. It doesn't seem human, somehow.

I hope things smooth over quickly. Poor thing. It's tough being young - and female. ;)

family affairs said...

My daughter has experienced the same thing...it's very hard. Hope she's recovering Lx

Jennie said...

I'm on facebook, but I think I'm too old and boring for people to be jealous of me.
Poor Football fanatic I hope she is okay now.

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