Tuesday, 25 November 2008

Now, Where Was I............?

......oh, yes - I was pond-dipping in almost frozen water when my phone rang.

Me: Hello?

FF: It's me. I can't find the coat, and they haven't got any of the stuff on the list.

Me: What do you mean they haven't got any of the stuff on the list? I checked it all on the internet lastnight.....

FF: But they've got MUCH better stuff than what's on your list. I'll just get what I think shall I?
Ciao for now!

Me: NO! You will NOT get what you think.....Hello?......Hello?

I hadn't gone much further when she rang again.

Me: Hello?

FF: It's me.......if you buy 'Bullseye' and the pasta and pizza utensil set you can get 'On the Ball' free! Don't you think that's mint?

Me: Do you mean 'Bullseye' the television programme?

FF: Yes!! You could be Jim Bowen!!!

Me: No. DO NOT BUY 'Bullseye'!!


Me: Because it involves darts. I draw the line at darts. Just get the stuff on the list.

FF: MUM! You're so boring!

Me: That's as maybe, but I have no intention of spending Christmas Day in Casualty, thanks.

Twenty minutes later:

Me: Hello?

FF: MUM! Wait till I tell you what they've got........you won't believe it!!

Me: I don't want to know what they've got. JUST GET THE STUFF ON THE LIST!!

FF: But Mum, they've got remote control fighter aircraft!! Can you imagine the hours of fun........?

Me: This is the last time I'm going to say this. I do not want you to buy anything that is not on the list AND I ESPECIALLY DO NOT WANT YOU TO BUY ANYTHING THAT FLIES!!!

FF: What about the darts?

Me: No darts.

FF: But Mum, I've bought them now........

At this point I heard some background conversation, obviously directed at the Football Fanatic:

'I'd better go and get you a trolley for all this lot, or would you prefer the 'Collect by Car' service?

FF: Mum?

Me: Yes?

FF: If I get a taxi home, will you pay?

Me: Why can't you get the bus?

FF: I don't think I'll be able to get these massive boxes on the bus......


FF: The Clay Pigeon Shooting set, the Baseball Launcher and the dartboard with cabinet........

I really will not blame you if you don't believe a word of it.

I wouldn't believe it either. If I didn't live here.


Daryl said...

Bless her heart. Have you considered moving while she's out and not leaving a forwarding address?

Just a thought.


menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

She should have pretended she got what you asked for, got them all wrapped and suck them under the tree. Imagine the hours of fun and dedlight unwrapping that lot on the day! She sounds very creative! Happy Christmas, at least she didn't buy you any porn!

Maggie May said...

Oh, I would be SO annoyed.
Are you kidding me?

Kitty said...

OK, so it'll be a bit different to how you planned it, but it might be fun? Maybe? Possibly? A little bit?


Suburbia said...

How long was the refund queue?!

CrazyCath said...

Oh. My. Goodness.

And you stuck on a school trip powerless. That kid sure knows how far to push the boundaries...

(Read through them all and LOVED the biretta one - I got it! It's the generation gap I reckon. *sigh*)

Expat mum said...

If you want something doing - do it yourself. Am I wrong?

RiverPoet said...

Oh boy, she might make a great buyer for Toys R Us!

I hope she didn't have your credit card...Peace - D

Renae said...

Is she going to wrap them all, too? If so, it's worth it! ;-)

Amrita said...

Oh dear me. That was funny

Dusty Spider said...

Hilarious! God how I miss my teenagers. (Who said that....!!)Flick xx

Working mum said...

Could be an interesting Christmas in the Pride Household! Could she do my shopping for me? I'd love to see the look on my MIL's face when she gets a Bullseye game!

ChrisB said...

I just love these hilarious conversations just too funny...now if it were my shopping list I might not be laughing!!

The Dotterel said...

Credit crunch? What credit crunch?