Wednesday, 28 May 2008

The Joy of Texts

The Football Fanatic has a friend called Kelly. When I say friend, I mean more of an acquaintance. The Football Fanatic is sitting behind me and has asked me to point out that Kelly is not from these parts. She's from Birmingham. Whether or not that makes any difference to anyone else, I have no idea, but where the Football Fanatic is concerned, if you're not from The Republic of Mancunia, then you're somewhat of a second-class citizen. (Oh, to be nineteen again and live in a world where everything is black and white - but I digress).


Anyway, yesterday, Kelly sent her a text:


Fancy going 2 pictures 2moz? It's Orange Weds n i get in free if u pay


Now, they had been out together over the weekend and Kelly had said some rather hurtful things to the Football Fanatic. I think this may have been because boys in nightclubs tend to flock around the Football Fanatic and not around Kelly, but who am I to judge?


Anyway, because of this, the Football Fanatic did not want to go to the pictures, and because she is not by nature a mean-spirited girl, decided to make up a story which would get her out of it without upsetting Kelly.


She texted back:


Soz can't go pics 2moz. Working l8 and meeting Katie afta.


Then she decided she'd better text Katie to let her know:


trying 2 get out of going 2 pics with kelly so told her i was meeting u


Which would have been fine, if she had sent the text to the right person.


Yes, you've guessed it. The text saying she was trying to get out of going to the pictures with Kelly went to.........Kelly!


After I had resussitated her we tried to work out what to do. I'm pretty sure I mentioned something along the lines of 'This is why you shouldn't tell lies' which was actually no use whatsoever.


However, the Football Fanatic is nothing if not resourceful. She called in The Fixer, who thought for all of three seconds then said 'I know what to do - send her another text saying this':


soz wasn't meant 4u. ment 2b going with jack. didnt want u2 fink i was ditching u 4 a lad


'Now send Jack a text saying this':


if kelly asks we're going out 2moz. i'll xplain l8r.


Now, far be it from me to cast aspersions, but the Fixer has been trying to set these two up for a while. Maybe it was all part of the plan, but she for one wasn't remotely surprised when Jack texted back:


why dont we just go out anyway?


This would be the ultra good-looking Jack, with the apartment in the city centre, the black Mercedes Coupe and perhaps most importantly, the season ticket in the Stretford End.


Up to now, they're just good friends.


I'll let you know.


In the meantime, the Football Fanatic sends this message:



25 comments:

Daryl said...

The Fixer certainly comes by her 'name' honestly, doesnt she?

:-Daryl

Kitty said...

Do you ever have an msn conversation with your girls in which they persist in using that 'txt spk' stuff? I can't made head nor tail of it, and I drive No.1 mad by commenting that her spelling is appalling.

*Sigh* ... I'm getting old, aren't I? :-(

x

Jules said...

Wow! I'm impressed with the ingenuity of Fixer............. and Football Fanatic's message. :)

Grit said...

i wish i was aged 19 again...!

Renae said...

Send the Fixer over here. We could use her in matters of national security.

family affairs said...

Omigod! How cool to have a sister that gets you out of really disastrous text f-ups....more to the point, I want that message - am I allowed to have it? Or wiil you give it to me only if I promise not to acquire a motorbike? x

CrazyCath said...

LOL. Love the last message. How very appropriate for a 19 year old...!

(Got one - well he's nearly 19, male [obviously being a "he"] and he is all of those listed too. But def fun).

ciara said...

i think the fixer is good at fixing a LOT of things lol :)

love ff's message lol

Rose said...

My oldest got mad at me last week and mistakenly sent a text to me instead of her friend that said "My mom is superpissed at me" She didn't even bat an eye when I called her on it. The perfection of youth.

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Oh dear God, I gasped at the text msg going to the wrong person! This is so me.. Bt what a great story and yes, can't wait to see where this goes..

What a recovery - get the fixer into the UN, or politics - she has a future in both!

E said...

The send button is nobody's friend. I have ended relationships with it, but they probably needed ending anyway.
I need the fixer's address please. Very creative that one

qualcosa di bello said...

an illustration of just how complicated technology & relationships can be! & also why texting & i don't belong together. she is a resourceful gal!!!

Mean Mom said...

Wish I had a sister!

Jennifer said...

That made even my head spin. But I am now shaking my head wondering if this is what I'll have to put up with and how soon...my daughter is 15 now.

meggie said...

This really made me smile! The dangers of txting!

Casdok said...

Oh to be young!

bellamocha said...

oh..this made me feel young again with the memories it brought back. Except of course, in those days, there wasn't texting, and I didn't have a mobile phone. I guess I had to rely on good old-fashioned talking. Which was even worse because I can't lie to save the day and my expression always got me caught out.
Thanks for the funny start to my day:)
x Bella

Milla said...

brilliant, let's get THe Fixer running the country!

Expatmum said...

I just want to know how "tomorrow" became "tomoz". I mean, why not "tomow" or just "tomor". Took me ages to figure out what people were saying.

Maggie May said...

Hope Kelly won't be reading this!

GoneBackSouth said...

What a tangled web. I sometimes worry that my phone is going to malfunction and send texts to everyone in its memory, not just the person I've selected. But then again, I do worry too much in general.

San said...

U r fun. The Fixer got the fun gene from you.

Carolyn said...

I've always said if you're going to lie, you better have a darn good memory. But I guess I should amend that to include... and be an accurate texter too. Fun lot, as usual.

Jennifer said...

This story ranks right up there with my friend who emailed her mother about her in-law's visit - and of course, sent it to HER IN-LAWS.

Unbelievably uncomfortable and funny at the same time. It's my worst nightmare, actually. Every time I hit send I worry...

The texting. I'll never get it. It's a sign. I am old.

Oh, but I am thoroughly impressed with The Fixer - I'm going to find her next time I open mouth insert foot. Which should be at any moment...
She should do well in life, that one!

Kasia said...

I have to confess I totally do not understand what transpired there...

...which is a major reason why I make it a point of policy not to lie any more than I can possibly help. ;-)