Monday, 28 July 2008

Got My Wires Crossed

Contrary to popular belief, I have NOT been in Monte Carlo with the Football Fanatic, Jack, any combination of the two, nor anyone else.


I did however, spend a week awaiting delivery of a connecting wire necessary to get back online after our internet connection took a decidedly deadly turn.


When it arrived, I followed all the instructions, plugged everything in and....nothing. Unfortunately, my technical assistant, The Fixer, was spending two days at her friend's house, and so was unavailable for comment, assistance, or anything else of any use whatsoever.


On her arrival home, she checked what I had done, gave me a withering look, undid all the connections I had made in an attempt to get the thing to work two floors up from the main plug, re-plugged everything back in to different connections and...voila (as they say in Monte Carlo).


Please don't think I have been bored whilst I have been away. Let's see what's been happening:


1. The Father of This Lot invited me out for the evening and proceeded to ply me with copious amounts of alcohol. This led to some rather interesting developments:

a) I will never touch another drop of the stuff as long as I live. In fact, if I could find somewhere I could take the Temperance pledge, I would do so immediately

b) The Father of This Lot had a fight with the taxi driver who brought us home (Nothing new there, then)

and c) He has been here night and day ever since.

Please don't ask, as I am sure you do not want me to re-live the embarrassment of recalling my public renditions of Connie Francis' "Who's Sorry Now?" or Dean Martin's "My Rifle, My Pony and Me".


2. Jack has had an operation to remove a piece of shrapnel from his knee sustained in a bomb blast whilst he was serving with the Marines in Afghanistan.

If anyone feels that they are falling a little bit in love with Jack at this point, please form an orderly queue.

Behind me.

Jack's parents live abroad. In order not to worry her, he did not tell his mother about the operation. I made it known that I did not think this was a very good idea.

Today, Jack's mother found out about the operation and is currently on a plane on her way to Britain. Although Jack has been in extreme pain for the last week, he feels that it is probably nothing compared to what he's going to feel when his mother lands on his doorstep.


3. My own mother went for an eye test and was referred immediately to an emergency eye clinic, where she was given an appointment to see a retinal specialist tomorrow. As I type, my mother has torn the appointment card into shreds and is adamant that she will not attend.....






Bored?

Me?

Never.

21 comments:

Daryl said...

OY and VEY

And I am right behind you on the Jack queue ... I did something like he did .. decided not to tell my mom about a surgery (eons ago) and was sure I was right ... but my BFF insisted I tell .. so I called and told Dad who I assumed was the saner more rational one .. WRONG .. HE called and made airline reservations for himself AND mom .. and they arrived and drove Husband nutz trying to be helpful ... sigh

I wont even touch the singing comments ...


:-Daryl

Casdok said...

You cant stop a mother from worrying!

And i hope you can talk your mother round.

The Fixer stikes again! I could sure use her round here!

gigi said...

Sorry about all the unfortunates, but so glad that you are back on line and blogging. Hope things get better!

Kitty said...

*Takes a ticket for the Jack queue*

Phew - it's good to see you back. I was getting worried! You see, when you start blogging you don't reckon on developing affections for, and cares about other bloggers and their families do you? It sort of creeps up on you.

Good to hear you got plastered - it's necessary once in a while ;-)

x

scrappysue said...

all in a day's work eh jackie? never boring at your place! hugs for jack (no pushing please...)

Lehners in France said...

Aaarr jak, nice to have ye back, I could have done with a with of my rifle, my fecking pony and me recently. Dont forget to claim yer bling. Pud. XXXX

ciara said...

well, glad the fixer got the wires all sorted. as for jack, he sounds like a keeper and i hope football fanatic realizes that soon. ha ha singing while intoxicated...that would have been a sight! :)

Katney said...

Glad to see you back.

Renae said...

I'd like to request a ticket for the next Connie Frances concert . . .

Kit Brookside said...

Welcome back! I was getting worried!

I had a feeling FOTL was keeping you busy...hmmmmm...

Looking forward to the next installment!

Amrita said...

glad you are plugged in.

sorry about Jack.Get ell soo to him.

Love, Amrita

Purpleflowerpatch said...

Bored, heck no!! Girl, your life has helped me give up tv...much more interesting reading your blog. ;-)
Glad to see you back, btw.

ChrisB said...

This is better than a TV soap any day...give us more detail (nod nod wink wink!) :)

Maggie May said...

Now its my turn jackie. i am i a cafe writing this.

Grit said...

i am with kitty here, and have worried. fortunately everything seems normal ... and i shall wait for the next installment.

(p.s. i have had to give up watching coronation street, and am looking for a substitute...;))

CrazyCath said...

Phew Jackie! Welcome back but what an entrance. I am in the orderly queue behind Jack's mum (she is bound to beat her way to the front - mums do), then you, Daryl, and Scrappy sue it seems, but I can wait. ;0)

I had a sneaky feeling FoTL would be involved in your absence somewhere. Glad you are ok though. You can take that oath here if you want... (you may regret it though as it sounds like you could do with a stiff brandy at the moment!)

Alison Boon said...

Well they say it's better to be busy, and that's certainly one way to describe your life. Good to see Jack's still in the picture. He's definitely trying every ploy to win over the FF.

Jennie said...

Blimey I was wondering where you had got too!! Glad to see you are doing okay!

A Mother's Place is in the Wrong said...

Your life is never boring, I can tell. A week off though is very hard to cope with - I get withdrawal symptoms if I can't get on-line. Oh for a Fixer. And a Jack! M xx

meggie said...

OMG! I looked at the bottom pic, & was instantly swept back to my first 'fill in job' while I waited to be old enough to go nursing!

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