Saturday, 23 February 2008

Two Dilemmas

This is what happens when you abandon your natural inclination towards housewifery (!) in an attempt to keep your children entertained during their half-term break.

This brings me to Dilemma Number 1.

(May I suggest you go and get a cup of coffee, a Red Bull or a couple of Pro-Plus tablets because it gets a bit complicated from here on in).

You may have noticed that this is a football mad household. I'm not kidding. It's like a religion. When Manchester United win, all's well with the world. If they, you wouldn't believe me if I told you. Anyway, one Saturday during the 2005-2006 season, United were playing away at Middlesborough. It was a fairly important match. United and Chelsea were virtually neck-and-neck at the top of the League and a win would have put United in first place. Middlesborough were languishing down at the bottom and had hardly won a match all season. They didn't stand a chance.

I was happily washing and ironing school uniforms in readiness for Monday and listening to the match on the radio. The Football Fanatic, it being an away match, was at home, pacing up and down the hall floor, praying to Saint Anthony. The Fixer was up in her bedroom going through the Litany of Saints and praying for the intercession of anyone who would listen. (You think I'm kidding, don't you? I'm not).

Well, Heaven must have been shut that day because United got beat 4-0. The final whistle blew. For a moment you could cut the silence with a knife......

Later, when I had replaced all the doors that had been slammed off their hinges, do you know what I discovered? It was my fault. It most certainly was NOT the case that United had got a bit cocky and had been outplayed by a lesser team. I alone had caused the defeat by washing and ironing during the match. (Obviously I felt obliged to send a letter of apology to the team, the manager and all the supporters, stating most fervently that I would never do it again).

And I haven't. Honest to God, I've never washed or ironed during a match since. (Listen, you're only reading it. I'm living it).

So, finally, back to the Dilemma. The laundry, during the course of the last few days of being ignored, has assumed Biblical proportions. I can see it waiting for me every time I pass the washing basket. I really, really need to get on with it, BUT - United are playing away at Newcastle. The match starts in just over an hour. The Football Fanatic is not back yet. I could get one load done and she'd never know. BUT...the current leaders, Arsenal, only drew today. A win for United would mean there was only three points difference at the top of the table.

What shall I do? Shall I chance it? Would you risk the wrath of the Football Fanatic if they lose? Answers on a postcard as quick as you can please......

Oh...I almost forgot. Dilemma Number 2.

I've been invited out for the evening by the Father of This Lot.

Should I stay or should I go.....?


Casdok said...

If you go out with the Father of this lot you could take the ironing with you and let him do it!

ExpatKat said...

Definitely go out for the evening!

I get similar problems over here when the local US football team are playing. I get so stressed if they're losing that I have to seek refuge in the kitchen. The kids know Mum's baking buns!

Caffeine Court said...

Five girls! Wow. That's alot of estrogen.

Thanks for stopping by my blog.

You are so right that it's hard to tell what you can put up with until you've been there. I was just speculating.

As for you laundry. I find throwing it in a closet works wonders for my demeanor.

Daryl E said...

Do the wash and go out .. I love living on the edge

bella mocha said...

I'm afraid I've the let the cat out of the bag, but I've had to explain why you haven't been able to get the laundry done.

I've had a great idea for you though. Instead of dinner, why don't you get him a ticket to the show?


Renae said...

When the father comes to pick you up, sweetly ask him to put a load in the wash before you go. (Have a load all ready and in the basket, and then as you are putting final touches on your hair, call out to him and ask him to do it.)

Then, if your team loses, you can blame it on him! If you win, well, you only have to dry and fold now.

Or better yet, give it all to charity and have the father buy all of you new clothes! :-)



Jennie said...

Liking Renae's answers there.
Well I'm far too late, it will all be over now, you will or won't have gone out with the Father of this lot, you will or won't have done any washing/ironed. Not that I would have had any proper advice for you, only told you to do what you felt you wanted to do... and what good is that!!! :D

GoneBackSouth said...

I would have left the ironing for another day, but then again, I always do. Even without football as an excuse (which is why I never have anything to wear). And I hope by the time I write this you're out having a slendid time!

ciara said...

haha @ casdok

well, at least you have an excuse for not doing your laundry. i have none except that i'm lazy and when i feel inclined, i do it lol

since i'm late, too, i can't wait to see what you did and what happened w father of the lot.

KitBrookside said...

Oh, I've been doing everything around here today BUT switching on the laptop. I hope you went and had a good long chat. Update?!?

Jennifer said...

Oh, I say go. I'm hopelessly hopeful.

And... having The Father do the laundry isn't a bad idea. Maybe just one load?

No, it's not worth it. I'm playing it in the middle, no to the laundry, do go out.

I'm sure I'm too late for a say, which keeps me safe, but there it is for what it's worth. :)

Maggie May said...

Dilemma 1 ....... Get the kids to do the laundry!
Dilemma 2 ........Wow, is it really something that has to be thought about! Get in there! Watch it, Stella!

Loved your post & the drawing! You are a scream!

Moonlight in Vermont said...

Oh! Are we supposed to do the laundry! That's why Mount Neverst is forming by my washing machine!


Akelamalu said...

Ah Manchester United - the best team in the world!

Did say b**** to the ironing and go out?

Iota said...

Do the laundry. Man Utd's fortunes have much more to do with whether my son's attempts to record the match succeed or fail (and it not be erased by someone else by mistake).

Is there a laundry saint that you could get Football Fanatic to pray to instead of St Anthony?

My knowledge of saints is very very limited, but I thought St Anthony was the saint of lost things (and he's often aided me in turning things up). In that case, isn't it a bad idea to ask for his help in a Man Utd match, home or away?

Lisa said...

Waiting to hear what you decided to do about both! :o)

Rose said...

Just read this today; hope you went out and all was well.

Sister Judith said...

Hi Jackie: Thanks for your comment on my blog. You can count on our prayers. Are you familiar with the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal? Check out this web site: It would be great to get to know them if they are close by!
God bless!

Amrita said...

Oh this is delightfully funny. Ours is cricket crazy household. i like football too.

I like your caption