Today's Mothering Monday Post is especially for Daryl, to cheer her up!
What Would Your Jewish Mother Say?
Just imagine if these folks actually HAD a Jewish Mother. She might actually have said:
MONA LISA'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"This you call a smile, after all the money your father and I spent on braces?"
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS' JEWISH MOTHER:
"I don't care what you've discovered, you still should have written!"
MICHELANGELO'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Why can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you know how hard it is to get this junk off the ceiling?"
NAPOLEON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"All right, if you're not hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me!"
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Again with the hat! Why can't you wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Next time I catch you throwing money across thePotomac, you can kiss your allowance
THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and go to sleep!"
And then these two, who really did have Jewish mothers:
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"But it's your senior photograph! Couldn't you have done something about your hair?"
MOSES' JEWISH MOTHER:
"That's a good story! Now tell me where you've really been for the last forty years."
And I just couldn't resist this:
Jewish Mother's Answering Machine:
If you want chicken soup, press 1;
If you want matzoh balls with the soup, press 2;
If you want varnishkas, press 3;
If you want knishes press 4;
If you want to know how am I feeling, you are calling the wrong number since nobody ever calls to ask me how I am feeling.
Well, Daryl, true or not?