Mothering Monday

Today's Mothering Monday Post is especially for Daryl, to cheer her up!

What Would Your Jewish Mother Say?

Just imagine if these folks actually HAD a Jewish Mother. She might actually have said:

MONA LISA'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"This you call a smile, after all the money your father and I spent on braces?"

CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS' JEWISH MOTHER:

"I don't care what you've discovered, you still should have written!"

MICHELANGELO'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"Why can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you know how hard it is to get this junk off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"All right, if you're not hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me!"

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"Again with the hat! Why can't you wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"Next time I catch you throwing money across thePotomac, you can kiss your allowance

goodbye!"

THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and go to sleep!"

And then these two, who really did have Jewish mothers:

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"But it's your senior photograph! Couldn't you have done something about your hair?"

MOSES' JEWISH MOTHER:

"That's a good story! Now tell me where you've really been for the last forty years."

And I just couldn't resist this:

Jewish Mother's Answering Machine:

If you want chicken soup, press 1;

If you want matzoh balls with the soup, press 2;

If you want varnishkas, press 3;

If you want knishes press 4;

If you want to know how am I feeling, you are calling the wrong number since nobody ever calls to ask me how I am feeling.

Well, Daryl, true or not?