Great title for a song, don't you think? I wonder if Neil Sedaka's actually reading this?
Lastnight the Father of This Lot took the family out for a belated Mother's Day meal.
Well, when I say the family, I mean four of the kids. He's not speaking to me, so I wasn't invited. I know, Mother's Day without the Mother. Hey, stick around, it gets a lot stranger.
Now, before you all start hiring hit-men on my behalf (although if anybody knows a good one...no, forget that), please believe me when I say I was not remotely bothered about this arrangement.
There were two reasons for this:
1. United were playing in a European cup match, and the prospect of having the house to myself (the Football Fanatic being at the said match) to watch it, as opposed to running around a restaurant trying to find someone with a phone that receives live text updates was just too good to miss
2. The Father of This Lot has always enjoyed the thought that he has a lot of children. He has always enjoyed telling people he has a lot of children. However, his idea of parental responsibility and mine differ slightly, in that he believes that his starts and ends with paying for them. The actual 'down and dirty' of parenting has never held much appeal for him.
So, the thought of him trying to manage four of them in a restaurant for a three course meal......well, wouldn't you have done the same?
Actually, I've just thought of a third reason. I've been to this place before. I've seen the chef out the back having a smoke, and frankly, some of his personal habits leave a lot to be desired.
Anyway, this lot had a good time. Their Father looked rather ashen-faced when he brought them home. I almost felt sorry for him. Almost.
And the match?
Manchester United 1 Lyon 0
A good result all round.