Well, I promised you a 'Mothering Monday' and here it is.
Taken from 'The Mums' Book - for the Mum who's Best at Everything'
by Alison Maloney
Things You'll Never Hear a Mother Say To a Child
Be good and I'll buy you a motorbike
Don't bother wearing a coat - it's quite warm out
How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far away?
Let me smell that shirt. Yes, that's good for another week
I think an untidy bedroom is a sign of creativity
Yes, I used to play truant too
Just leave all the lights on. It makes the house look more cheery.
Could you turn the music up louder so I can enjoy it too?
Run and bring me the scissors! Quick!
Just turn your underpants inside out. No-one will ever know
No, I don't have a tissue with me. Just use your sleeve
And that's just the first page! What do you think? Shall we stick with it and do another one next Monday?