Monday, 31 March 2008

Mothering Monday







You Know You're a Mother When........




More often than not, your feet stick to the kitchen floor


If the kids are fighting, you threaten to lock them in a room and not let them out till someone's bleeding


You can't find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to call you, and you run around the house madly, following the sound until you locate the phone downstairs in the laundry basket.


Your idea of a good day is making it through without a child leaking bodily fluids on you.


In the summer, you consider ice lollies to be a food staple


The baby's dummy falls on the floor and you give it back to her after you suck the dirt off of it because you're too busy to wash it.


You're so desperate for adult conversation that you spill your guts to the telemarketer that calls and HE hangs up on YOU!


In your bathroom there is toothpaste on the light fixtures, water all over the floor, a dog drinking out of the toilet and body hair forming a union to protest unsafe working conditions.


The closest you get to gourmet cooking is making rice crispies bars.


Spit is your number one cleaning agent.


You're up each night until 10 PM vacuuming, dusting, wiping, washing, drying, loading, unloading, shopping, cooking, driving, flushing, ironing, sweeping, picking up, changing sheets, changing nappies, bathing, helping with homework, paying bills, budgeting, clipping coupons, folding clothes, putting to bed, dragging out of bed, brushing, chasing, buckling, feeding (them, not you), PLUS swinging, playing baseball, bike riding, pushing trucks, cuddling dolls, roller blading, basketball, football, catch, bubbles, sprinklers, slides, nature walks, coloring, crafts, jumping rope, PLUS raking, trimming, planting, edging, mowing, gardening, painting, and walking the dog. You get up at 5:30 AM and you have no time to eat, sleep, drink or go to the bathroom, and yet...you still managed to gain 10 pounds.....


....and, quite frankly, YOU DON'T CARE!!


So, anybody out there recognise themselves?






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24 comments:

Casdok said...

Yep!!

That weight gain thing is a puzzle isnt it!!

qualcosa di bello said...

are you spying on me????

oh, that spit!! if i want a peaceful alone moment, all i need to is spit on my finger & move in the direction of a child while saying, "here, let me spit-shine that face of yours!"...works like a charm every single time!

Manic Mother Of Five said...

You downright hussy. There I was reading away nodding in agreement when WHAM, you slip in SWINGING!!!! You are a total minx!!!!!!!

tootsie said...

If the icecream van didn't come down the road in the Summer, mine would starve....

Maggie May said...

Everything except the 5.30 start. That is too early!

Amrita said...

In India to honor and appreciate someone we garland them. I am sending you a cyber garland. This is good.Good idea maybe I will make up a garland award.

Renae said...

Have you been spying on me? :-)

--r

Beth said...

And, after all of the above that you mentioned, you still feel like a crappy mother...

Daryl E said...

Oy and Vey.......

A Mother's Place is in the Wrong said...

How is it women don't rule the world? Because they're too busy getting on with life... and all those other things. Well said. M xx
PS. Actually, they don't want to rule the world anyway :)

Katney said...

Definitely been there, done that. The grandma gig is the reward for survival.

Pig in the Kitchen said...

OMG, yes, yes and yes. Life is unfair isn't it? 5.30am, really? I'm a 7-12am girl myself.
Pigx
do you think the gaining 10 pounds thing is the same as the losing socks in the washing machine thing?

Working mum said...

LOL! I recognise a lot there and I've only got one child!

Can I add 'my favourite TV programme is Nina and the Neurons'?

As for that weight gain thing, I thought eating your child's leftovers and eating whilst hoovering didn't count, maybe it does!

Suburbia said...

Yep, recognise all of them. You didn't mention mending the washing machine though, I fitted that one in today too!

Iota said...

Yup. I think the difficult bit comes when you emerge just a little, just a very little, and then YOU DO CARE for a bit. Makes it all worse, so the only thing to do is to take a deep breath and go back in again, and stop caring.

Edging. I don't do edging.

ExpatKat said...

Yup. Everything including the 5.30 start!

My Gran used 'Hah polish'(huff on the mirror and wipe off) It's a lasting brand. I'm still using it today. ;-)

Marie said...

"You can't find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to call you, and you run around the house madly, following the sound until you locate the phone downstairs in the laundry basket."

Er, how can you call a friend if you have lost your phone?;)..Ah, dear I say this in full knowledge that I once put the phone in the FREEZER!!!LOL!Hhahahhahaha!!! These were too funny LOL!

Peace & fun

Marie heehee

The Rotten Correspondent said...

AARGH!!

That hits a little too close to home, and below the belt to boot. And judging from your comments here, we all think we're being spied on.

How scary is that??

Kitty said...

I must admit I do have to call my mobile quite a lot, in order to locate it. x

Lizzy in the Burbs said...

Um,...have you been spying on me? :o) Why is it we do 100 things before we feel it's safe to crawl into bed at night? You're absolutely right, we should all be rail thin, how can we possibly be gaining weight?!

Lizzy

Grit said...

but i feel better ... it's quite reassuring to know others suffer too...

Amrita said...

You got my vote lady. Now can I live?

Lavinia Ladyslipper said...

Quite amusing. YES! I do recognize myself here...more than once or twice, actually...

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