Thursday, 6 March 2008

The Merits of a Good Education

I had a phone call from the Football Fanatic at 6.32am this morning.
(She works an early shift at a department store in town before her University day starts)


Her: Mum! I can't get in my locker!

Me: Why not?

Her: Because you didn't put my locker key back on my pants!

(Her locker key is attached to one of her belt loops by a chain)

Me: I did!

Her: You didn't Mum - it's not there!

Me: (the oh, so familiar light dawning) I put it on the other side.

Her:...(pause)......oh.....right......got it! See ya!



Now, it may be just me, but you'd think you'd be aware of a key chain jangling from one of your belt loops even if it wasn't on the usual side, wouldn't you?

I know. She's a dumb blonde. I know this because she's blonde and...well...dumb.

But hang on, let's backtrack a bit and look at the evidence.


9 GCSEs

(A* grades coming out of her ears)


4 AS levels

(including full marks in 2 of them)


4 A levels

(including 100% in History and Theology modules)


In addition, at some point she was put forward by the Head of Sixth Form for 'The Oxbridge List' - a list of pupils deemed suitable candidates for Oxford and Cambridge Universities. Once your name is on this list it is apparently more difficult to get it removed than it was to get out of Colditz during the war, but in an unusually quick witted moment (realising that this would mean she would have to give up her season ticket at Old Trafford) the Football Fanatic threatened to leave there and then, taking her grades with her, and becoming in the process, one of only two people who have ever managed it.


Having just completed her first semester exams at University, she has stunned students and lecturers alike who have realised looks can be deceptive, and that she is far more academically inclined than is obvious at first glance. I think they've also been stunned by the fact that she can eat more than five nineteen year old boys put together, but that's another story.


It's hard to credit isn't it? Ask her to explain the terms of the Apostolic letter at the Jerusalem council and she'll write you an A grade essay in twenty minutes. Ask her to identify which side of her body the jangling noise is coming from and she hasn't got a clue.

It's like I've always said:


No common sense.

20 comments:

A Mother's Place is in the Wrong said...

Gosh, that's seriously clever! What on earth are you going to do with her? I remember when I worked in a bank and we used to say that the brightest graduates couldn't tie their own shoelaces! Nothing much changes, does it? M xx

A Mother's Place is in the Wrong said...

PS, please could I borrow The Fixer to sort out my Ikea chest of drawers? M :)

Jeni said...

Isn't it absolutely amazing though how that common sense thing often eludes some people who are really, really smart? I don't have anyone in this house who are overloaded on the smarts department but the 16-year-old sure did get a quadruple dose of the "NO common sense" for sure! Just amazes me sometimes the things she comes out with. And I worry what the heck is gonna become of her once she gets out on her own with the no common sense being available in her composition.

Casdok said...

I know quite a few people like this!!

Renae said...

I am very embarrassed to admit this . . . but you just described me, at age 19.

The good news is, I have acquired a little bit of common sense over the years, though I still tend to search the house over to find my keys, only to find they have been in my hand the entire time . . . :-) LOL

--from another dumb blonde

Kitty said...

You're absolutely right - common sense resides in a part of the brain not necessary for theorising or exam taking. If I could have taken an 'A' Level in common sense I'd have got it in a flash. 'Real' 'A' levels? Nah - not a hope.

Tsk.

I'm sure your girl is going to be even more of a star than she is already.

x

Maggie May said...

You must be really proud of her & working before her studies even start is really commendable.
I have often found though that the cleverer the person is, the less common sense they display!

ciara said...

smart people are usually classified into two types: those w academic smarts and those w street smarts...very rare you ever find someone w both! lol i kind of have both, but in no way can i toot my own horn because i'm not extremely academically smart nor extremely street smart. i just have an even balance of AVERAGE academic and street smarts/common sense lol i'm average in every way, and i don't mind a bit lol :)

Jennifer said...

I have her clone in my house, only she's 13. Blonde, thin, smarter than she thinks, and dumb at the same time.
No common sense. Check.
My husband got quite a chortle out of this himself, by the way.

The Rotten Correspondent said...

Brains and common sense very often don't live in the same body. And I have plenty of proof in my own house.

CrazyCath said...

ROTFLMAO!
That is just sooo my son! And you beat me to it with your punch line. As I'm reading through it I'm thinking (with son in mind sometimes) - degree in Rocket Science - no common sense.
So good. Thanks for the giggle.
6.32am? Has she a death wish?

family affairs said...

I got the common sense, my brother got the brains....I like having common sense but I guess he likes being a consultant haematologist (I can't even spell that!) Thanks for commenting on my blog - good to meet you - I'm impressed! Lx

Amrita said...

Blondie is a genius...commonsense is for commoners like us. You make me laugh.

CrazyCath said...

Hi MoTL - I tagged you! Come over and check it out. Hope you don't mind. Are you meant to tell people they're tagged or just wait for them to find out? Anyway, I told you. :-P

Mrs. Fox said...

I called this the Absent-Minded Professor Syndrome. It's pretty common. Can solve differential equations or chat easily on post-War social changes, but can't tie her shoes or find her glasses.

Lizzy in the Burbs said...

Oh, that is funny! I have one of those "bumbling professors" myself, so I know where you're coming from! My oldest son is so very smart, and yet, he still has to ask me how to operate the microwave oven sometimes, weird!

Lizzy

The Future Was Yesterday said...

Ten pounds of brauns.....and two ounces of common sense?:)

A stunning likeness of her....skip that! Keys stuck! I did not type this!:)

qualcosa di bello said...

oh, no...this does not sound like me running around the house screaming..."where are my sunglasses, where are my sunglasses!?!?!" while the buggers are on my head. nope.

Holy Chaos said...

ROFL : )

She sounds like a wonderful person!

Jennie said...

She is blonde and like me, although I am not very clever, but I have good common sense, but then again I'd probably not see the key on the other side if I were expecting it to be on one side... hmmm