I had a phone call from the Football Fanatic at 6.32am this morning.
(She works an early shift at a department store in town before her University day starts)
Her: Mum! I can't get in my locker!
Me: Why not?
Her: Because you didn't put my locker key back on my pants!
(Her locker key is attached to one of her belt loops by a chain)
Me: I did!
Her: You didn't Mum - it's not there!
Me: (the oh, so familiar light dawning) I put it on the other side.
Her:...(pause)......oh.....right......got it! See ya!
Now, it may be just me, but you'd think you'd be aware of a key chain jangling from one of your belt loops even if it wasn't on the usual side, wouldn't you?
I know. She's a dumb blonde. I know this because she's blonde and...well...dumb.
But hang on, let's backtrack a bit and look at the evidence.
(A* grades coming out of her ears)
4 AS levels
(including full marks in 2 of them)
4 A levels
(including 100% in History and Theology modules)
In addition, at some point she was put forward by the Head of Sixth Form for 'The Oxbridge List' - a list of pupils deemed suitable candidates for Oxford and Cambridge Universities. Once your name is on this list it is apparently more difficult to get it removed than it was to get out of Colditz during the war, but in an unusually quick witted moment (realising that this would mean she would have to give up her season ticket at Old Trafford) the Football Fanatic threatened to leave there and then, taking her grades with her, and becoming in the process, one of only two people who have ever managed it.
Having just completed her first semester exams at University, she has stunned students and lecturers alike who have realised looks can be deceptive, and that she is far more academically inclined than is obvious at first glance. I think they've also been stunned by the fact that she can eat more than five nineteen year old boys put together, but that's another story.
It's hard to credit isn't it? Ask her to explain the terms of the Apostolic letter at the Jerusalem council and she'll write you an A grade essay in twenty minutes. Ask her to identify which side of her body the jangling noise is coming from and she hasn't got a clue.
It's like I've always said:
No common sense.