Monday 3 March 2008

Mothering Monday



Well, I promised you a 'Mothering Monday' and here it is.



Taken from 'The Mums' Book - for the Mum who's Best at Everything'


by Alison Maloney



Things You'll Never Hear a Mother Say To a Child



Be good and I'll buy you a motorbike

Don't bother wearing a coat - it's quite warm out

How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far away?

Let me smell that shirt. Yes, that's good for another week

I think an untidy bedroom is a sign of creativity

Yes, I used to play truant too

Just leave all the lights on. It makes the house look more cheery.

Could you turn the music up louder so I can enjoy it too?

Run and bring me the scissors! Quick!

Just turn your underpants inside out. No-one will ever know

No, I don't have a tissue with me. Just use your sleeve



And that's just the first page! What do you think? Shall we stick with it and do another one next Monday?


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25 comments:

Natalie said...

Hello,
I found you through Amrita. How funny!

WhiteStoneNameSeeker said...

LOL! It's true-I have NEVER said those things.

Melanie said...

LOL ~ I would love another Monday of this!!

Casdok said...

Brillient! Yes please you must do another!!

Anonymous said...

Yes! Next Monday, same time, same place; thanks.
I'll need to make sure The Children are nowhere near the computer though....I wouldn't want them getting any ideas.
x :)

Kitty said...

Erm ... I'm afraid I'm guilty of asking No.1 to turn her music up ... and I might have advised one or other of them to use their sleeves before too.

Oh the shame ...

x

A Mother's Place is in the Wrong said...

How funny and how lovely - I wish I'd had this when mine were younger. More please. Margot xx

Gone Back South said...

Yes, more next Monday please. And I can add one: "Would you quarrel a bit more, it's much too quiet around here."

Grit said...

oh dear. i may say things like these every day ... sometimes sarcasm is the only thing that gets me through. just 30 minutes ago i said 'can you stay arguing in the bathroom please for another five minutes because i am desperate for a pee'.

Jennie said...

Yes please, another Monday of that! :D

Cath said...

Yes more please! I too have said one or two - usually in sarcasm.

Maybe once or twice suggested the sleeve in desperation......oh no I've said it now. The shame. *blush*

Pam said...

lmao-definitely continue! :)

david mcmahon said...

Brilliant!

Anonymous said...

That was good for a laugh over here... it just comes out so funny. And of course, it had to be said with a British accent.

You have quite a talent for finding the perfect visuals, too! :) That's always half the fun over here.

Renee said...

No, I don't have a tissue with me. Just use your sleeve

Oh, I have said that before. And I have said a messy room is a sign of creativity.

Does that make me a bad mom?

Not that I care ;)

Maggie May said...

There's an award waiting for you in my place!

Beth Cotell said...

These are great! I say these all the time to my kids.

If they are wiping their own snot on their sleeve or riding their motorcycles, it gives me more time to blog!

Rebekah said...

Ha! This is so funny and true! I'm loving that picture....I can relate. :)

Daryl said...

Yup. Never heard those words from my mother .. the concept of turning one's underpants inside out ... sort of makes me go eeewww

Amrita said...

Oh my soul Jackie, this is just too good.

Natalie said...

thank you for stopping by my blog and for the kind words!

I need them today. I face this lady tonight...: (

Autumn said...

Oh yes! I like it, I want more :)

And how do you get so many comments? (says she with the serious Lenten blog *rolls eyes*)

AR xx

Lizzy in the Burbs said...

Very funny! I haven't said those things so far, but there's still time! :o)

Lizzy
ps Thanks for the tag! I'm doing it tomorrow.

Swearing Mother said...

So, so true! Loved it.

Jenny of Elefantz said...

More, more!! I'm laughing so hard...